Dear Spreadsheet: It’s Not Me, It’s You

(An Open Letter to the World’s Most Overrated Planning Tool)

Dear Spreadsheets,

Look, I don’t want to make this weird. But we need to talk.

We’ve been together for a long time. You were there when we were small. Scrappy. Under-resourced and over-caffeinated. You were the duct tape holding our project plans, timelines, and dreams together.

But now?
Now you’re… kind of a liability.

You freeze when we need you most. You crash without warning. And don’t get me started on your passive-aggressive little #REF errors. Honestly, you gaslight me more than my ex — and at least they never turned my conditional formatting into a crime scene.

I can’t keep living like this.

Every time I open you, it’s like a choose-your-own-adventure in “Who Broke the Formula This Time.” I’ve played this game for years, and spoiler alert: nobody wins!

And no offense, but your version control issues?
Embarrassing. It’s 2025. Why am I still naming files like “Master_Resource_Plan_v6_USE_THIS_ONE_REAL_FINAL.xlsx”?

You’re not flexible. You don’t play well with others. And you expect me to do all the work — drag data in, update cells, tiptoe around your broken pivot tables like they’re sacred ground. I can’t even run a simple “what-if” without summoning the ghost of Excel past and praying to the calendar gods.

You know what? I deserve a planning tool that wants me to succeed.

One that sees changes coming and adjusts automatically. One that can talk to my CRM, forecast the unforecastable, and help me leave the chaos at work instead of bringing it home like a sad little tote bag of stress.

So… we’re done.
And no, I’m not “just trying a new template.” I’m moving on.

It’s not me. It’s you.
You beautiful, broken, too-many-tabs-having menace.

XOXO,
A former believer in spreadsheets
(who now schedules chaos better without you)

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